Yes, there are plenty of good women out there, but you only have one life, and in that need to make the correct choice and not jump too soon. If my life were any different, there are women in it that I would marry with no problem at all. However, my brain tells me that you cannot just go on the matters of the heart, while you might love them, there may be parts of them that you just can't tolerate. You have your goals and she hopefully has hers, and if there isn't a way for both of you to achieve them by being in a relationship, then don't do it. The last thing you want to do in life is to blame your spouse for standing in the way of your dream. Another thing is that you don't want to get involved with one person, and then meet the person for you. Take a listen to "Before I Let Go" by Frankie Beverly & Maze for an example of that scenario.

While I might be one driven Black man whose calling and upbringing cast him in a certain weird dimension which precludes the typical storybook romance from happening, there are many Black men out there like me in one way or another; wounded, disenfranchised, and driven to prove themselves to themselves and the world. They struggle to find a place to fit in and cope with their emotional, dreams and wants in being there. We have not only problems of racism to deal with which affects us on levels too numerous to mention, but also the infighting within our own ranks, much of which is a byproduct of that racism over time. We fight with, more than support, each other. We seek to find that which we can get along, and get ahead with. Consequently, there are those of us who can not see what we really represent, nor where we are, nor what we bring to the table, but what about those of us who can see things for what they are?

We as Black men in America have our own storybook dreams of romance [and sexual escapades] but unfortunately, there are too many things that stop them from ever happening. There are also too many psychological "variances" which shape some of these dreams and make them either unattainable, or misguided in reality. In truth, to find "the one," many of us have to break through these mental misperceptions and cultural biases that we may have. Why is the lighter skinned sister, or even the white woman, considered more of a "prize" to us? Why do some of us keep looking to be in positions of financial dominance, if not intellectual dominance, over our woman?

Yes, we are ultimately conflicted in our cores, and that's what makes it all the more spectacular when we can, Black men that is, transgress all of this, and not only find, but also fall in, love.

Possibility