When A Black Man Loves - a romantic journey

Time, Dick and Drama

Zachary M.C. Harris
Saturday, May 18, 2013

It’s been a minute since I have written something; the truth be told, I have been working on a proposal for my own wine label.  But that all said, let’s get down to things.

It’s Saturday, May 18, 2013 and I was talking to someone on the phone who is currently reading the original version of my book.  One subject led to another and it turned to the concept of some of the men out here; men who women seriously enable.  As I have said before, my friend Tyrone once said, “Don’t underestimate the generosity of a woman.”  Those words are so true that it’s ridiculous.  So, the issue was one of a man who has a dog, but it lives with his mother who is the one taking care of it.  He also has three children, two by the same woman.  Currently, he is dealing with a woman older than him, which surprised me in some ways because any woman that I would deem of quality would be hard pressed to find something worth having in him. 

Now, there are two sides to that story and even a third as well.  The first side is that you have the man, and in my opinion when a man has three children by more than one woman he needs to make it work with at least one of them. If you think about it, unless he has a ton of money or a very well paying job, if he is really contributing his fair share to their lives, he won’t have a lot of money to spend on the next woman at all, let alone himself.  What does he have to offer a woman beside time, dick and maybe some drama?

The second side is the woman.  Women have the biggest hearts and between both sexes in our species, have the greatest amount of love and compassion of the two.  Women are the nurturers and they are more apt to take something, anything for that matter, and set about healing it and making it better.  A woman will more easily look at a man [and his situation] and interject herself into the mix.  The foible is not really looking at the man, and his possible inability for making things better in his life, whether for his offspring or for himself.  This might be construed as selfishness, and to a degree it is.  Some women will go for the man and then attempt to manifest his separation from his previous children.  Some women will make sure that he keeps a great relationship with his previous children and will work to having a great relationship with his children themselves.  And there are some other women who really don’t care which way it goes.

The third side is the woman whose life is basically just as “special” as the man’s.  This could be the woman who has endured numerous relationships that haven’t done anything more than to set her back in life.  She might have multiple children and/or not the best job.  And actually and honestly, some women might just want someone in their life, regardless of their circumstances and regardless of his circumstances.  The woman could be older, rich, divorced, widowed, separated, drug addicted, highly successful or whatever.  I have seen highly successful women go with men who are nowhere in their leagues, whether in drive or intellect, simply because he might have a good credit score and an acceptable job.  There are the women who date the guy who is already an ex-con and at the rate he is going, will either be returning back to jail soon or wind up getting killed. 

You have to look at some of the women out there who will date a man who shouldn’t be around their children let alone their own selves.  The guy who is abusive to her or them, or the one with friends and habits that are a danger to her and her family.  You know, the guy with the unlicensed and illegal firearm, or the guy who smokes drugs around her kids, or even the one who uses her residence to manufacture and/or sell drugs.  There is the guy who always has a bad attitude because he can’t get a job.

For me, I question why these women put themselves in that position.  I mean, there are a ton of available guys out there who are diamonds in the rough, some of them might just need someone to believe in them a little and that’s about it.  Some of them might need someone to show them a better way (I always say that we men are stupid).  There are a ton of women waiting around for the perfect man or all waiting on the same man.

And there is even the flip side of some women only dating men who can’t really challenge them at all, preferring to be with a man who really can’t raise any objections to their thoughts, choices and actions.  I know that there is a lot of this out there, because some men do it as well.  As long as they have power which the other person has none of, they feel more secure and want to stay in that place.

But really, why mess with a man that can only give you time, dick and drama.  And I must admit on the flip side, that even though I don’t have kids, I have sometimes only given time, dick and sometimes drama.  Life is interesting when you look at it through all angles as well as empirically, isn’t it.

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