When A Black Man Loves - a romantic journey

The three moods in a relationship

Zachary M.C. Harris
Friday, November 08, 2013

I don’t know what made this come to my mind, but I realized that there are basically three moods which form the basis of what happens in relationships.

You have the good, the bad, and the everyday.  

The everyday encompasses all that happens in life, that really doesn’t have to have anything negative or positive attributed to it.  This would be connected to the things which make up your existence, whether or not you are in a relationship, such as laundry, cooking, cleaning and paying bills.  These are things that you are going to [hopefully] do nonetheless, and after awhile when you are with someone they really don’t matter. 

However, the everyday can be combined with either the good or bad and become something else entirely.

The good is of course composed of anything that elates your spirit.  It could be things such as just feeling happy at the presence or vision of that other person, or them doing something to make you feel better such as a compliment, massage, flowers, a card, etc.  The good is what should permeate a relationship, because without it, the only other reason to be there would be to share finances and make life easier.

The bad, is also of course, all of the things that can make a relationship stressful, negative or impossible.  This includes: misunderstandings; lies; accusations; breaches of trust; abuse (whether physical or emotional); and actions in which one person’s goal is to make the other person not happy.  Some folks really don’t like being happy and want to spread that to their significant other; we have all heard the saying that misery loves company.  Some folks are too demanding and when they don’t get everything they want, will wind up trying to push the buttons of the other person.

The bad can also just be bad things that happen that no one has control over, but it is how these things are dealt with that matter.  Money woes, unforeseen costs, medical emergencies, issues with family and friends; these all can be handled either in a good way or a bad way.  In the best way, you really see the gem that you have in the other person, and in the worst way, you see the rock that you have that is weighing you down.  In either case, no one is perfect and you can take the good with the bad, and hope that the good outweighs the bad.

Summarily, we hope for more good than bad, in the relationship as well as in the other person and that things always tilt more positive than negative.  Hey, life is too short.

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