The problem is that there are too many damned hoes
Zachary M.C. Harris
Friday, April 26, 2013
Houston, we have a problem!
I was watching an old stand-up comedy special by Bill Maher and he made a great joke about rappers rapping about hoes, including the song “I Goes in Different Areacodes” by Nate Dogg. When fact becomes stranger than fiction, you really have to start to worry, and the fact is that there are too many damned hoes.
Hoes are fucking up average and unhappy relationships day in and day out. Straight hoes, gay hoes, it just doesn’t matter anymore. A ho will become the fantasy that you want; the ultimate "ride or die" companion, at least until they get arrested and you walk away. You want to get a blow job while driving? Get a hoe! You want sex in public? Get a hoe! You want that easy threesome? Yes, the answer is resoundingly, “get a hoe!” Actually, in that case it is to get two hoes. There are a ton of hoes out here, and it’s not necessarily based on their education level anymore. See, hoes usually have no discretion and really don’t discriminate against anyone except for those that can’t do something for them, whether it’s pay a utility bill, buy them a purse, pay for their cosmetic needs, or ride them in style somewhere. If you have a nice ride, hoes will line up.
Hoes are messing it up for women who want to do the minimum, like cut rate auto insurance. Chances are that you can’t build a great life with a ho, but you can have a fun time, and since in most cases you were miserable already, what’s the loss? You were already paying for two and you weren’t being fulfilled or satisfied, so you might as well get the latter if you still have to do the former.
And hoes are plentiful; you can find them almost anywhere. Hoes also are very malleable; if you ask them to dress a certain way or change their look, they’ll do it and sometimes you don’t even have to pay for it. Hoes even advertise on places like Craigslist, and who is really going to prosecute a ho? They will be labeled as a hater.
The best places to find hoes are anywhere that they might be scheming for men with money. You can really make an impression if you buy yourself a high-priced drink or buy them and their ho-complices a round of drinks and maybe some appetizers. Oh, watch out for the difference between hoes and meal-whores and drink-sluts. But usually they are one in the same.
Hoes are like fireflies drawn to the light, as well as moths drawn to the flame. Shiny shit will attract them. This can be a shiny car, or a car with shiny rims. It can be jewelry that is shiny or has sparkly stones attached.
There are so many hoes that hoes are disposable. You could meet a new ho at the same time you are there with your current ho. Oh, and the old ho might get mad, but really, she’s a ho! What can she really complain about anyway?
Ladies, watch out for these hoes, and don’t make any your close friends. Just a word of advice.