The Lovely Bones
Zachary M.C. Harris
Monday, December 23, 2013
I mean, at the end of the day that’s what we have when a relationship ends, whether permanently or temporarily. A writer writes, and right now that’s what I am doing. I look back over the carcass of what was once something with so much promise and look at the lovely bones, remembering the breaks and the bruises which were just the dings of mixing two persons together.
But these bones are lovely, or shall I say the ones that I chose to look at.
As I was going through some papers, trying to find just one list of wines from an event that I attended last year, I came across a letter written to me from someone in my past. Upon reading it, it made me smile because I have not changed as I am a fixed sign, she pointed out that even within our differences, the now, which was then, still felt wonderful. She made me think of some of the romantic moments that she had when we were together, whether it was out in public or in the sanctum of my bedroom while passionately embraced in a cuddle.
And those bones made me think of bones past, just the lovely bones mind you.
Thinking of the first time I heard her voice, and the first time I heard her laugh; the first time I saw her; the first time we hugged; the first time we kissed; the first time we made love and the first time we snuggled together. Thinking of that first dinner out together, and the first time waking up right next to each other. Thinking of happily drunken conversations, no matter which ones of us were toasted. Thinking of multiple calls in a day and talking for hours on end like lovelorn teenagers. Thinking of the smiles on her face each time I found something that was elusive for her. Thinking of seeing the sun and moon in her smile and happy that it was beside me or sitting across from me.
While knowing that what we let transpire was good for neither of us, there is still the heartfelt loss of the bond, regardless of whether it was rocky or smooth sailing. She was mine and I was hers, and I was willing to move heaven and earth to make it better and to make her happy, and for her in turn to then make me happy.
And right now, while I could easily harbor on the negative, that is not the high road nor the road ever to acceptance and understanding, as well as destruction and rebirth, for anything can happen, and the dreams that was fantasized about in multiple conversations over multiple months could also come true. Life is funny that way.
But for now, I will pick through the lovely bones.