When A Black Man Loves - a romantic journey

The Elusive Good Black Man: Part 2, Question 1: How Happy Does She Make You

Zachary M.C. Harris
Saturday, April 06, 2013

Part 2 of this diatribe/discussion/dissertation revolves around the three questions that a wise man [of any race] starts to ask when he looks at a woman.  Those three questions are: how happy does she make me; how much is she going to cost me; and, how much drama is she going to bring into my life.  Now honestly, these three questions are all intertwined as answers to one question can also relate to one or both of the other two.

Most women don’t realize that this is the greatest rationale inside a man with a modicum of relationship experience and self-awareness.  After awhile, you begin to learn from all of your experiences; those who don’t are called suckers.  Oh, there are a ton of suckers out there as well.  A prime example of a sucker is a man who continues to lavish time and money on a woman who doesn’t have any interest in that man whatsoever and never will.  Also, men that constantly buy women drinks also go into that circular file.

Now back to the question of how happy she makes you. 

I have reworded this from “how good is the sex” simply because you can have great sex with someone, but they can really be someone whom you can’t be happy with at all.  Ladies, please take note of this real good.  Sex is a major part of what can make a man happy, simply because there is so much stress and drama in the world in which we live that he has to more often that not, deal with on a regular basis.  Outside of sex, there is happiness in general, and it is very beneficial if the person whom you are with can keep your spirits in good standing.  The caveat to this is not to think that a man who is happy outside of sex is indeed happy enough.  As a man, once you have experienced certain carnal delights, sometimes they become something that you don’t want to live with out.  This is not to say that everything must always be done, but there are certain things if not done at all, with be upsetting to the man, and at some point in time, he will need and possibly seek out elsewhere.

Okay, some women are now questioning or posing the issue/belief that the sex is better if the man loves the woman.  I will be nice and say that the answer is both yes and no, but in reality the men know what the answer truly is.  I have had sex with women whom I have loved, but it paled in comparison to the sex I had with women who knew how to satisfy a man in general and me in particular.  The latter was always better!

Oh, I will get to happiness in general later, but right now, I am on fire.

Now, not to ruffle too many panties, I will unveil something that I should be elected president for if I could get all women to do this – hell, I could become leader of the world for this one – and that is that nothing is more enjoyable than a great blowjob.  At this point I will offer the disclaimer that some men actually don’t like it done to them at all.  I would merely assume that for them it was always done either incorrectly and was damaging – can anyone say teeth – or it didn’t really stimulate them so that in essence they were getting nothing from it at all.  I have had both happen and in either case, the best thing to do is to move the action to something else entirely.

For me, the year was probably around 1995 when I had met a woman at a New Year’s celebration.  I thought that she was gorgeous as all hell and also culturally aware and thus I was severely smitten with getting to know her.  As time would pass, I realized that she was a few bricks short of a full load, but since I spent so much time getting to know her, I had to see how she was in the bedroom.  Well, she curled my toes using her lips!  I had never had something so good.  Actually, that is a lie as there was woman who I was in love with who had previously laid it down on me, but I didn’t want to cum there, so I pulled away; rookie error folks.

In any case, this woman had a talent/knack/gift for this and I so enjoyed each and every time that she performed this wondrous thing on me.  As time would pass, I would meet another woman whose skills far exceeded this person’s and who took me to a whole new level.  I would say that a proper analogy would be the difference in driving a Toyota Avalon and a Rolls Royce.  While both are great cars, and the Avalon is the best and most luxurious Toyota there is, it is nowhere in the league or stratosphere of the Rolls.

The sad fact is that many women won’t do this, but yet want, if not expect, men to perform oral sex on them.  This in itself is a divine sin as far as I am concerned.  Some women love to do it, and some women have said that either one must love the act of it, love how it makes a man feel, or is truly interested in bringing the man pleasure.  I like the last rationale and that allows for you to better judge whether or not you really should be with someone.

And women, while we men don’t have to have a partner that does every kinky thing that we could fantasize about [or have done], if you can do that great and do it willingly, you will outshine so many other women out there.  It is common reality that most men who use hookers patronize them for blowjobs.  And if you don’t realize how great it can make a man feel, and what he will jeopardize as well as what he is willing to give for it, just google ‘Supahead.’

I can say this, of all the women whom I have known in the ‘biblical sense,’ the ones that attempted it were less than ten percent of that group, and the ones that we good/great were less than five percent; and we are not talking a small number either.

Okay, so back to the main concept of happiness.  Happiness can also be measured by not only the good times, but the bad times (amount of drama).  And not only during the high points and the low points but also during the normal, average, and mundane times of/in life.  Outside of participating in events or doing routine chores and what not, a relationship can be broken down to sex, eating and sleeping.  And when you’re not doing any of those three things, there is what occupies the in between times, which is conversation.  Conversations can bring joy or pain, and good and great conversations make the soul warm.  There are people that you can always find something to laugh about with as well as people who will always keep you thinking and allow you to come up with different thoughts, if not see things in a different light.  These things might allow you to obtain a solution for something that you needed one for.  However, lack of stimulating conversation is really a total buzzkill.

Happiness can also be factored by how a person makes you feel when they are with you or you with them.  This extends past the exclusivity of you and them together in private, but how you are when you are out in public.  Some people you are just not comfortable with around other people, because it might lead to some drama either at that place and time, or when you get back ‘home.’  Many men have experienced this, when the woman they are with incorrectly translates a situation, especially if it involves another female.

For different people, happiness comprises different things.  For me, there are the things that I like to do and I hope that I can share them with a person I am dating.  If not, I have to whet those appetites and sate those desires elsewhere.  There are people who I enjoy talking with, hanging with and/or doing activities with.  If the person I am involved with isn’t into them, it does get dicey, normally from the point that if they are a jealous person, it will not turn out well.

Anyway, I just covered the first of the three questions.  The next one should be addressed in no more than two days.

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