When A Black Man Loves - a romantic journey

On Bey, Jaz, the Cray-Cray and Critical Thought

Zachary M.C. Harris
Tuesday, May 13, 2014

By now, just about everyone and their mama has seen the video from the elevator with Solange attacking Jay-Z, and there are tons of theories spreading like wildfire, most of which are probably wrong.  As far as the truth of it all, most of us will never know it, and of the parties present, the bodyguard was most in the dark.  No matter what was said or intimated,  the fact of the matter that rarely is the whole story shared and told, even if it is someone telling their good friend about something that transpired between them and someone else.

What I did notice, and some other people noticed as well, was the restraint shown by Mr. Carter, and that was a combination of both critical thinking and situational awareness.  These are two things that most people are in severe deficiency of.  There were many things for him to consider immediately at that moment; the first being that the hotel elevator was being monitored and the second to realize that he probably wasn’t going to be able to really handle the situation differently in the presence of the bodyguard.  On top of that, he would need to consider what he has to lose, not only in regards to public image, but also in regards to his relationship with his wife, his freedom, his current holdings and his future earning potential.

There was nothing good that could have come out of that situation at that time, and there is always another time and place to better handle what happened.  I learned that from great women whom I have dated who had the forethought not to act/react at times, and to deal with something later when it was just the two of us.

And ultimately, we as Black men know that the world is watching and waiting for us to make the wrong move, and then they will swoop in and crucify us.  Jay has made a fortune by creating the persona that he is a gangster, and then there was that incident with Steve Stout.  The last thing that he needs is to engage in fighting, be it with a woman who attacked him or someone else unless his life was threatened.  One thing that you always have to watch out for is not just the setup, as this happens in so many ways, but also the ramifications of not thinking several steps ahead. 

Right now, the best thing for him is to exercise both damage control (PR) and also liability (Legal) and for the both of them to put out a unified front.  And in the case that the latter cannot be done, it is best for him to maintain his composure and play a life-size game of chess.

The difference in the player and a piece on the board is that one keeps his ego, his composure and his freedom.  People will say what they will say, but trying to prove something to them shouldn’t cost you any of those things.  That is why so many are in jail, because their let an affront to their ego make them not think, and instead act in the worst way.

Lord knows that I have been in situations where I wanted to beat the crap out of someone’s child, friend, or even that person, but the last thing that I want to lose is my freedom and I won’t let anyone take me to that place.  And we all know that people will test and try you, but maturity is knowing when, how and where to react to those things.  And there are times when I haven’t struck back, because to strike back would ultimately lead to an arrest and/or a lawsuit.  And I have given the same advice to men who are in the midst of horrible divorces, as well as people regardless of their gender/sex who have been betrayed [or something like that] by their significant other.  Hell, I just had to tell an ex-girlfriend to move on from her husband and let the next woman deal with his crap; she should consider herself blessed because he is not her problem any longer.

And then there are the other people who could easily come in and also contribute more drama to the situation.  It’s like when rappers have beef, and other people who like them or idolize them step up to commit acts of violence in their name.  Bey has her rabid followers and Jay has his.  I am not going to comment on Solange but to say that I love her first album but the videos for the second do nothing for me at all. Between two of the three, they are some of the African Americans with the highest profiles in the world of all of us in the population; in fact the only ones with higher ones easily are the Obamas and Oprah, but don’t think that they might not have some issues over the years as well.  People are people, and none of us are saints.

No matter what anyone thinks about this incident, we will move on.  Just look at the Chris Brown and Rihanna thing.

But, he acted like someone who knew what he could lose, and he didn’t make an error!

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